We are the ultimate machines of Consciousness, but our mechanisms were damaged early in life and we were never given the tools or technology needed to heal, upgrade our system, and make it powerful as it was designed to be.
I know you’re eager to learn about how you can become this Super-Human Sex Machine I referred to in the catchy title. I can imagine the excitement you might be experiencing just to think of the increased pleasure, the satisfied partners, and the impressive stories that will come with that new skill. What excites men most, when we begin working together, is the knowledge of how to practice semen retention or how to be (multi) orgasmic. I know MY EGO just loved this!!
But first there are much more important benefits that we must become aware of. Along with our natural ability to be (multi) orgasmic comes the ability to move that potent primordial energy throughout the body for supercharged health, vitality and even spiritual realization.
There is a sexual madness that drives and agitates the minds of most men. I know it! I am a man, and when I speak to the men I work with, it’s generally the same. It separates us, this madness, from our true selves and pollutes the intimate space we share with our partners. We drain ourselves of our life force by having a hyper-obsessive sexual focus and by releasing so much of our super-charged seed.
We are like a light bulb, shining and spreading our energy in all directions and eventually becoming dull and dim, when we can instead be like a laser beam of concentrated energy, powerfully focused on the Light of Self.
With the right intention, knowledge, and by making the moment-by-moment choice to retain our power, steady ourselves and open our hearts, we will ease in to the realization our own Godly nature.
Ok, so before we arrive at the part about becoming “a super-human (multi) orgasmic machine” it is crucial to understand the current landscape in which our collective sexuality is operating.
Male Sexuality as We Know It
Our culture is experiencing an epidemic of failed relationships, depression, porn addiction, traumas, and dysfunction of all kinds. Young boys (and girls) are being sexually conditioned as young as 10 years old, through pornography that celebrates sexual dominance, violence and humiliation of women.
Men are riddled with the shame and harsh reality that they cannot live up to the model of masculinity that has been defined for them. The truth, however hard the pill is to swallow, is that most of us are far removed from any useful definition of what might be the “true masculinity” (if there even is one).
For the majority of men, self-pleasuring and sex is anything but mindful. Most of us use pornography almost exclusively to achieve that momentary sense of freedom. The porn-addicted mind and body become anxious and numb, severed from reality. Empathy for the feminine dissolves entirely! We become completely out of touch with our own bodies. Masturbation is bound in shame, and our sexual desires take on the aggressive, demeaning and controlling nature of the material we consume.
Our real-life bedroom moments can’t live up to the unrealistic sexual expectations of a porn-saturated mind. Working vigorously to re-create scenes of sexual hedonism, while striving towards that “big moment” of orgasmic release cuts us off completely from the very thing that makes us so divinely masculine.
Perhaps the most tragic part of this is that we’re never able to surrender to the power that is THE primal sexual energy.
Sounds awful, right? It gets worse.
With empathy long gone and our conditioned sexual past and traumas projected onto our partners and into the space of our lovemaking, it’s no surprise that most relationships are in the state they’re in: total disconnect.
Some of us may be so ridden with shame and insecurity that we avoid intimacy all together. Others, without realizing it, may use our partners as objects, with holes meant only for satisfying our toxically conditioned minds and bodies.
We generally have very little awareness of a woman’s body, her energetic needs, or her pleasures. I know I didn’t! How could we? We learned most of what we know from a culture and a medium (porn) that completely lacks any care, love or respect for women. From very early on we were shown that we could do whatever we desired to their bodies for our own sexual gratification.
She knows this! She can feel it at a cellular level. She knows that we lack the self-knowledge and presence she requires from us in order to trust, let go, receive our energy, and release into her pleasure.
Even if she doesn’t consciously recognize this yet, her body does. Her nervous system is aware of this lack of safety and responds moment by moment to our own nervous system.
I know this can sting upon initial realization—decades of sexual memories come flooding back, triggering all sorts of uncomfortable feelings—but it’s not our fault.
We were taught nothing about our own nature, let alone a woman’s power. Nor was she! Everything we know about both male and female sexuality was absorbed from porn and media through centuries of patriarchal conditioning.
So let’s get to the point: becoming a super-human (multi) orgasmic machine. You should know before going on, there is no way this can be learned by simply reading a blog post. What you can do is take the following tips and begin to play with them. This is a life practice. To take it to the next level, an adept tantric teacher is highly recommended.
Essential Steps to Get Started:
Get off the porn. It’s time to let go! It is not serving us in the least. It is harming us, agitating our hearts and minds, and making us numb. Pornography cuts us off from our own capacity to experience the immense amount of pleasure available within our bodies. It is unknowingly conditioning our sexual beliefs and sexual responses in profound ways.
It is now MY BELIEF that if you truly love HUMANS, then you can no longer support this medium that sells the sexual domination, violence and humiliation of women for the sexual gratification of men. Do what you have to do to get off it. Reach out for support if needed.
Expose toxic (sexual) shame. Our sexual conditioning must come completely unraveled. The deeply ingrained belief system we hold about the nature of our consciousness—our hearts, our bodies, and our vital sexual energy—must be reevaluated and restored to nature.
We need to connect with a lover, a teacher, or a group that is a healthy, non-shaming mirror through which we can expose the shame that binds us to this limited self.
Awaken vital sexual energy. This is where a great teacher and Tantra’s many useful techniques come in. We can apply myriad combinations of ritual, meditation, kriya, mantra, hatha yoga, Qigong, and dance to restore our natural flow of sexual energy and then learn how to move that energy with awareness. Proficiency in energetic sciences such as Hatha yoga is a must. Obviously, this takes time to learn and practice.
Slow the fuck down. Seriously, men! We all need to slow it way down. This applies to self-pleasure and partner play time. How can we feel anything while we’re battle-ramming our partner at such great speeds and force?
In order for our partners (and ourselves) to be able to truly feel, we have to go slower. Our female partners will be elated! Finally, they will have some space to relax and open. In time, and with their own practice, they’ll be able to receive us completely. Women have become far too accustomed to and traumatized by tolerating the tense discomfort and pain of cocks unceasingly poking at their face and sacred pussies.
Breathe and relax. The breath must flow freely, easily, and naturally. If it isn’t moving, or is moving harshly, we aren’t relaxed. If we aren’t relaxed, the flow of (sexual) energy becomes restricted. Orgasms will either not come or they will be forced and minuscule compared to the boundary-dissolving wave of electricity that is possible with the right knowledge.
Practice, practice, practice. This is the best part, and it will take place over a lifetime. Practice, practice, and practice some more. Let this become your new hobby! We must practice alone, at least some, before including a partner.
This begins by setting aside some time without disruptions or goals. Remember, we need to be relaxed. Have a workout, shower or bathe, light candles, play music, smudge, and do whatever else will enhance the flow of energy and create grounding.
Basic Guidelines for a Self-Pleasuring Practice
1. Using a favourite oil, first massage everywhere BUT the penis. Don’t go straight for it–explore! There are many pleasure receptors in other parts of the body. Direct some awareness and pleasure through the abdomen, thighs, anus, perineum, and scrotum. Take your time warming up the body. Breathe through the sensations. This creates re-sensitization to touch. Spend at least 10 minutes doing this before even thinking of touching that sacred rod.
2. Remain connected to the breath. Take notice of the sensations. Ensure the leg muscles, anal sphincter muscles, and pelvic floor are not tense. DO NOT try to make an orgasm come by bearing down, clenching, or bracing.
3. Practice riding the waves of pleasure close to orgasm (60%) and then slowing down—or stopping if needed—in order to avoid ejaculating. Edge closer and closer to the final release. Be completely aware of all sensations. Breathe into them. Remain physically relaxed. After much practice you will be able to ride the energy right to the point of climax and the body will orgasm (a little) without ejaculating.
We want to ensure that we are not just attempting to retain the semen through creating MORE tension. We don’t want to go to the point of actually ejaculating, and then applying some trick to prevent the semen from escaping. We instead learn to cultivate and move the energy before we ever get to that point. Be wary of techniques that promote tension, like squeezing!
4. Awareness and breath then draw that sexual energy up through the body and toward the heart - or better, towards the centre of the brain and the space above the crown.
5. Repeat this until you either run out of time or can no longer contain yourself. If there is no orgasm in this session, let that be a good thing! Know that the sexual energy awakened during playtime can be spread throughout the body for enhanced vitality.
The truth is that this may seem difficult at first. Either the ejaculate cannot be withheld, and the whole process ends too quickly, or it could be difficult to remain present and aroused without pornography.
Don’t be discouraged and give up after one or two practices. Once confidence is developed, it can be practiced with a partner as both the giver of pleasure and the passive receiver of pleasure.
The play-space we consciously create with our partners can be the most powerful shame-free space we have access to. Let’s use it!
More Than Just Sex
I want to make it clear that this is about so much more than enhancing a man’s sexual performance. In fact, that is the least important part of becoming (multi) orgasmic. Ultimately, it’s about truly awakening as the divinely orgasmic beings we are.